Write a fan letter

A little jolt of rocket fuel to the heart

It cost $2.67 in U.S. dollars — plus a whole lot of thoughtfulness

My week is made already.

I got a letter in the mail from Belgium. Not just a letter — a three-page handwritten letter from a man in Etterbeek, which is one of the municipalities in the greater Brussels metro area. (Yes, I just looked that up this morning.)

He ran across an excerpt from my memoir online, ordered a copy from his local English-language bookstore, took it to a coffeeshop, sat down and started to read.

“It felt like a special moment to me, like something spiritual,” he wrote.

I say that not to brag on me or my book (although that is one hell of a blurb) but to tell you how it made me feel. I think the right word is nourished. I could live on those kind and thoughtful words for a good six months.

Which is why I encourage all of you to write somebody a fan letter.

It doesn’t have to be somebody who writes or paints or makes music or does a podcast you enjoy. It could be the nurse who took care of your mom that one time, or the cashier at the deli who always seems cheerful, or the mechanic who cut you a deal on fixing your transmission.

Most people, in most jobs, only hear from their customers when they’re mad about something. I get those letters, too. One bad comment used to stick with me more than a dozen good ones. But slowly, over time, I’ve come to appreciate the effort and care it takes to tell somebody you love what they do.

Writing a fan letter is not just good for the recipient. It’s useful and enlightening to spell out just what you admire about what somebody did, or just what sticks with you when you think about it.

Not long ago I read Kathryn Schulz’s extraordinary book LOST & FOUND, about how in a fairly short period of time she lost her father and found her spouse. When I finished I felt like I had to write to her. The book came out in January — the month both my parents died, 28 years apart — and I just wasn’t ready to read it then. But one day a few weeks later I picked it up and swallowed it whole. It’s such a beautiful meditation on all the things we lose in life, and all the things we find, and how much luck and circumstance there is in the things that come together to make us who we are.

Kathryn wrote a lovely note back. But it would’ve been OK if she hadn’t. It was worth it to me to just think about her words, and what they meant to me.

Even work you love can sometimes feel like a lonely pursuit. The little moments of getting better often happen when no one is looking, and at the time, you might not even be sure if you ARE getting better — it’s so hard to tell when you’re so close to it. I guess there are people who do what they do just to get some love or attention for it. Most people I know aren’t like that. But it sure is sweet to get a little of that love and attention when it comes from a thoughtful and honest place.

I’m a fat guy with bad knees but I feel like I could run from here to Belgium after getting that letter. (It appears there might be some swimming involved as well). I hope writing that letter felt half as good to my new friend as getting it did to me. He will most definitely be getting one back.