After this commercial break

Watching a movie (eventually), plus my weekly shareables: Cloning yourself, de-heating salsa, and Dolly sings Petty

We saw THELMA at the movie theater a couple of days ago, and let me tell you, it is an absolute damn delight. It’s about a 90-something grandma (June Squibb) who gets scammed out of 10 grand and sets out to get her money back with the help of her equally elderly friend (Richard Roundtree, in his final role, playing a character a long way from John Shaft). It’s sharp and clever and satisfying. We laughed out loud multiple times. Three thumbs up from our crew. Go see it.

But that wasn’t the main thing I wanted to talk about.

We took our seats about 1:15 for a 1:25 showing. The movie actually started at … 1:49. There were a few trailers. But most of that time was taken up by commercials. (Come to think of it, trailers are just commercials for other movies. So it was ALL commercials.)

They spent so much time on commercials that they showed two of them twice. One was a car commercial (I think) that featured a little girl constantly asking “Are we there yet?”

I felt her pain.

Somewhere along the way I realized that our expectations for watching movies and shows have flipped.

It used to be that one of the best things about going to the theater was that you could see a movie without sitting through a bunch of commercials.

Now you can watch TV and movies all day long at home without ever having to see a commercial. But at the theater, where you’re a captive audience, you get bombarded.

I empathize with the theaters here. Streaming killed off a big chunk of their business and the pandemic took another slice. The big Hollywood hits that used to dominate every summer are now just a trickle. There weren’t many other patrons at the 24-screen theater we visited. Although they did make a few bucks from the woman with two wriggly kids who walked straight to the concession-stand bar and ordered a margarita.

So I understand why the ads are there. Tickets and popcorn won’t cover the overhead anymore. But it feels like we’re about two cycles away from the movie pausing every 15 minutes for a commercial break. I can imagine the same movie showing on two screens, one with ads and one ad-free—Cinema Premium or some such thing. (I’d cough up an extra couple bucks for that.)

I will say this, though: As far as I could tell, THELMA was free of the product placement that plagues so many modern movies, where the camera lovingly focuses on the characters drinking Diet Cokes or driving BMWs or whatever. Although the movie did make me lust after one of those sweet two-seater motorized scooters.

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10 things I wanted to share this week:

1. My weekly for WFAE was about new citizens and old promises.

2. The Washington Post just did a beautiful Instagram slideshow tied to the DOGLAND-related column I wrote for them about how dogs are humankind’s greatest invention.

3. I’m one episode in and already hooked on SHELL GAME, a podcast from Evan Ratliff where he clones his voice, hooks it up to AI software, and … sends it out into the world, where it ends up having a mind of its own.

4. In Mexico City, natives are complaining: Restaurants are toning down the heat in their salsas because tourists can’t take it. (NYT)

5. I found Anna Sale’s conversation with Carvell Wallace on DEATH, SEX & MONEY to be funny, smart and tender—they talk about everything from sex parties to Shakespeare.

6. From the great novelist Ariel Lawhon: “The muse is real, but she has to find you working.” (I’m So Glad You Asked)

7. In related news: Productivity tips for lazy people. (The Guardian)

8. I’m about halfway through the album PETTY COUNTRY—Tom Petty songs covered by country artists—and the standout track so far is Dolly Parton’s version of “Southern Accents,” which is not only my favorite Tom Petty song, but one of my favorite songs, period.
   

9. YouTube find of the week: They Might Be Giants from 1990, doing “Birdhouse In Your Soul” with the full TONIGHT SHOW band. The sentence “Doc Severinsen plays a killer trumpet solo on a They Might Be Giants song about a nightlight” still does not quite compute.
   

10. Last but most definitely not least: Alix and I celebrated our 26th anniversary on Thursday. She still dazzles me every day. Here’s to many more.

    

    
    

    Have a great week, everybody.