Adjust the grind

How to find the right work mode, plus my weekly shareables: Nick Cave on grief, a Jason Isbell doc, and a gathering of Ryans

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A short diversion before we get into the main part of the newsletter: My friend and fellow Shedhead Isa Cueto—I recommended her Substack a couple weeks back—wrote in to tell me that if you go to thewritingshed.substack.com, this is where you end up:

One, I did not know this!

Two, even though my Substack is called The Writing Shed, the online address is tommytomlinson.substack.com.

Three, I really want to read THE SEX TALK YOU NEVER GOT.

And four, I wonder how many people have gone looking for my Substack and landed on that one: “Hmm, I thought Tommy’s book was about dogs … that really took a left turn somewhere.”

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The other day I was waiting lunch at the Comet Grill, one of my favorite Charlotte places, when I noticed the pepper shaker. It was one of those that has the whole peppercorns. On the label were instructions for how to adjust the grind.

I can’t tell you how often I’ve wished I was able to adjust my grind.

I’m struggling here in the homestretch of getting my book manuscript done. The amount of material feels overwhelming, and I’m constantly scared that I’m missing something important that will expose me as a fool when the book comes out. This “dark night of the soul” phase happens every time I write something big … I know from experience that I always get through it and before long I’ll emerge into the light. It’s just taken longer and felt harder this time around.

In these moments I tend to revert to full-grind mode—I try to outwork the material, to pin it to the ground. I wake up early thinking about it and stay up late fine-tuning the lines. It’s not just bad for me, and contrary to the way I work best, but it’s ultimately unproductive—I end up exhausted and creatively spent. I feel like Kevin Costner in TIN CUP when he gets the shanks and buys all those goofy gadgets to get his swing back:

I’ve recommended the writer Oliver Burkeman several times on The Writing Shed. One of his recent newsletters really hit home with me. It’s about how so many of us get so focused on some work project that we postpone our normal lives until we make the deadline. The problem is, there’s always another deadline. So Burkeman points out that we should choose sanity now—don’t grind yourself into dust trying to get to the point where you can relax. Instead, operate from the default of having a normal life where the work is just part of it.

I’ve tried to do that a little more this week. We’ve had some nice weather and I’ve hung out on the front porch a bit. I had lunch with two good friends. I read a book that has nothing to do with work. And lo and behold! The writing came easier.

It’s still a grind. But it’s a different kind of grind. And it’s a lot easier to live with. Thank you, Oliver Burkeman, and thank you, pepper shaker.

10 things I wanted to share this week:

1. This week’s episode of my podcast SOUTHBOUND was so much fun—my guest, Ryan McGee, is a natural-born storyteller. He’s all over ESPN, especially as a co-host of the show MARTY & MCGEE, and he’s got a new book out next week called WELCOME TO THE CIRCUS OF BASEBALL, about his long-ago summer internship with the minor-league Asheville Tourists. I laughed more during this podcast than any episode I’ve ever done.

2. Speaking of Ryan: I loved this story on a gathering of Ryans. (Check out the photo credits.)

3. My weekly for WFAE was about how everybody’s property taxes are going up—unless you’re a country club.

4. I sent my friend Jeremy Markovich, who does the fantastic Substack NORTH CAROLINA RABBIT HOLE, a tip about an N.C. reference in an old Fleetwood Mac song. He ran with it.

5. DOG NEWS: While I work on my book, I’m devoting this slot to dog stories. This week, breaking dog news: The UConn husky WILL be in attendance for the men’s Final Four this weekend.

6. Last year, the brilliant New Yorker writer Amanda Petrusich lost her husband. Nick Cave, the Australian musician, lost one son last year and another back in 2015. They came together to talk about loss and grief and what lies on the other side. Their conversation is sad and beautiful and deeply moving.

7. My friend Michael Kruse with a story right in my wheelhouse: How pro wrestling explains today’s GOP.

8. So excited about this new Jason Isbell documentary that I might subscribe to HBO for the first time in my life just to watch it.
   

9. RIP Larry McMurtry, author of LONESOME DOVE and TERMS OF ENDEARMENT and THE LAST PICTURE SHOW and so much more. A confession: I’ve never read LONESOME DOVE or seen the TV series despite the raves I’ve heard from so many people. A hole in my game. I’m going to fill it. (UPDATE: An alert Shedhead noted that McMurtry died back in 2021. This obit came through my feed this week for some reason and I didn’t notice the date. Lesson, as always: Everybody needs an editor.)

10. Every once in a while I go down a YouTube rabbit hole looking for all the versions I can find of a song. For some reason the other day I latched onto the Kris Kristofferson classic “Help Me Make It Through the Night.” Along the way, I found a version that Kris and Rita Coolidge, who were a couple at the time, did for British TV in 1972 … and woooo, buddy. This is one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen.
    

    I need to turn on the fan after that. See y’all next week, everybody.